...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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