Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize