hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
