This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
