fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
