If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a hot homeless man
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
