nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
