plz talk dirty to me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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