some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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