Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
