I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is the high leading the old right now
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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