I hope mine doesn't look like that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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