oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
