You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize