Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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