Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
