i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize