there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
