Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
