He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
