we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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