I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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