I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
