Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it hurts more in the daytime
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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