He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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