after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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