So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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