And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
