your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
