Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
