U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
