I need help removing her.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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