summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
