I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
