tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
