Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
