are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
