i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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