what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
