So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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