dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
