Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
