i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
