haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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