found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
