Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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