NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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