She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
