It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Houston, we have a squirter
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
