you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
