i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
