I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
please come you make the beer taste better
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
