make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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