Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
