do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
