i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
