Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
