Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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