Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
