So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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