Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
