well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
